tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944258212591685685.post874208265138196609..comments2023-10-31T04:50:52.819-04:00Comments on august philippic: Tsunamis (excerpts from my nightmares)augusthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12042512777302374341noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944258212591685685.post-60345763506202749662007-04-04T19:44:00.000-04:002007-04-04T19:44:00.000-04:00I don't know about flatulence, but I was thinking,...I don't know about flatulence, but I was thinking, "who's April?"<BR/><BR/>The sense of place in most of the phrases was interesting, considering the dream logic. And nerdily, I think the comparison between the electromagnetic ether (I know) and water is kind of cool. But concave oceans is the only part that grabbed me as nightmarish.Keifushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00287358319899471490noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944258212591685685.post-45873108673418563792007-04-04T15:06:00.000-04:002007-04-04T15:06:00.000-04:00also, unfortunately, this line: "smell of papaya i...also, unfortunately, this line: "smell of papaya in April and august" conjures an image of flatulence. i think it's because of the lack of capitalization; makes me think it's your alias.twifferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07019975906761715327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-944258212591685685.post-58538506902330460092007-04-04T13:30:00.000-04:002007-04-04T13:30:00.000-04:00initial impressions: you nicely capture the non-s...initial impressions: you nicely capture the non-sequitorial nature of dream logic. also the expected absurdity of dream imagery, without veering into the ridiculous. i'm a bit unsure of how i feel about the line "my knees squished like guavas", but i suspect it's because i'm uncertain of just how squishy guavas are. also considering your decision to drop the rhyme scheme in the last couplet.<BR/><BR/>oh, and the mention of guavas and papayas made me hungry for fruit. so now i'm out of blackberries. you owe me 5 bucks for that.twifferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07019975906761715327noreply@blogger.com